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We had very little in common when it came to our shared memories and our childhoods. I had escaped my childhood, at least for awhile, but I didn't have any idea of all of the thousands of reference points that Brenda had to fall back on from hers. What if I started to love her, and all she was able to do was like me? I knew that we'd have fights when we got together. She was feisty, competitive and combative. I was way out of my league with her, both from who I was, and from what I knew. She wanted a rich man, and I was the farthest thing from one. I knew I was reaching too far for my grasp. I had to pull back, protect myself from the pain that pursuing her would inevitably cause me.When you've never had anything to treasure, not even a memory, it is impossible to realistically dream of happy endings. To believe in happy endings is even less possible. I rode home from Brenda's expecting that I'd ultimately fail with her. Not failing wasn't an option that I could believe in. Not. Happy had been in a state of constantly arousal, and had to be nightly drained. Even then, Mr. Happy would often spring to life in the middle of the day on the sight of Linda, and remain in that turgid condition until the old bastard would stroke him between his thumb and forefinger.The wedding was a beautiful ceremony in Hawaii with only near friends and relatives. After the guests had retired to their rooms, and Richard was finally alone with Linda in their magnificent wedding suite. He was so excited that he could hardly take his hands and eyes off Linda.Linda, was her kind and considerate self, she first changed and slipped into her lacy-satin sleeping robe and then slowly undressed Richard, taking lots of time with Mr. Happy. But as the Gods would have it, Mr. Happy was asleep, and did not wish to wake up despite Linda's gentle ministrations. It was as if he was scared that she would dislike him if he came out of the safety of Richard's pelvis.Richard had been aware of this.
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